First World Problems

Yes, this is a Real Thing.

Some folks who choose the solitary lifestyle get a cat. I got a new pussy.

Labiaplasty, the medical term for "new pussy," is a surgical procedure to alter folds of skin around the vulva. Conveniently, I was mere driving distance from Beverly Hills, where this casual snip is pretty much status quo. Despite being the one procedure the late great Joan Rivers never underwent (I peeked . . . just kidding, she mentioned it in an interview), "vaginal rejuvenation" is the equivalent of getting one's hair trimmed in some parts of Southern California.