Dunning-Kruger Chart of Current Politics

 Sadly, this very accurate chart includes Congresswoman Lauren Boebert, my mis-Representative in Congress. 

Sunday Menu April 25, 2021

 Tonight's dinner will include:

• Grilled boneless ribeye
• Asparagus alla Carbonara
• Bacon and Egg Potato Salad

Paired with a 2017 Pas Robles Syrah

Antifa on the Danube

 I snapped this from a riverboat cruising the Danube, somewhere near Austria.

History Lives in Decay

 Abandoned land office in Walsenburg, Colorado.

 Memo to Lucerne, the company behind this otherwise delicious salad dressing: It's pretty weird to follow the packaging instructions to "refrigerate after opening" only to have the product coagulate in the bottle. Maybe a heads up about what olive oil does when it's cold? 

The Five Stages of Relief

 Time is ticking before Retirement Day: it's now 22 calendar days, 14 work days. Next week will be my last full work week, and next Friday will be the day I submit my resignation letter, making all of this official. 

I've noticed a few changes in my reaction to events. There's a pattern to it, in a way. As an old hospice nurse, it looks for all the world to me like Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's Five Stages of Grief, but I'm not dying. I'm releasing from obligations to others and accepting choices that will belong to me and me alone. At last that seems like an exciting condition, so I've re-christened it the Five Stages of Relief. Here's what that looks like.

• Stage 1 Recognition: that retirement is a real thing and it's about to happen to me.
• Stage 2 Apprehension: wondering who I will be without this career that has consumed so much of my life.
• Stage 3 Planning: While still processing Stage 1 and 2, I realize the calendar won't stop for me and there are things I have to do in advance - like applying for pension benefits. Which I did in mid February.
• Stage 4 Anxiety: I spent half of February, all of March, and most of April working on Stages 1 and 2 while also waiting for the official approval of the pension application. I have a date in mind, but it's subject to change depending on the Social Security Administration's decision.
• Stage 5 Giddiness: The pension application was approved a week ago. I've gotten used to the idea my career is completing, and looking back I've been generally more successful than not. I've also begun to tick off the last time I'll perform certain work functions, many of which are merely required without being useful. As I finish each of these required-but-revolting tasks I get a little bit giggly, knowing some other nurse will have to deal with it next time. 

And as the number of working days dwindles to double and then single digits, I feel lighter in some indefinite way. I'm daydreaming about road trips, both short and lengthy. As music venues come back to life I find myself planning which events I want to attend. In some ways it seems appropriate that my freedom to make choices is coinciding with the world returning to a kind of pre-pandemic state where those choices aren't automatically foreclosed. 

"Little Ben Clock Says Quarter to Eight..."

 Another week closer to to Retirement Day, now in four weeks. Sort of an eventful week, too. 

Anyone working in health care is familiar with surveys. Hospitals get visits from the Joint Commission on Health Care Organizations. Their labs are surveyed by the College of American Physicians. Nursing homes and home care agencies are visited by surveyors from their respective states. Typically, these surveys are a requirement for reimbursement, so they can be a big deal for the organization. This week, a trio of surveyors from Denver arrived unannounced (as is routine) to survey my current employer. 

I've tried estimate how many surveys of all types I've been involved with over the last few decades. It's about 30, I think.  I've learned to maintain all my required documentation in a survey-ready state, which leads to far less anxiety, so when my boss dropped in to announce the survey I wasn't too concerned. And, in fact, when we reached the exit conference Wednesday afternoon the surveyors were mostly complimentary. My interview with the survey team was about 40 minutes. When it was over, I made a sort of curtain call speech, telling them I was on the cusp of retiring, and thanking them for making my last survey such a  pleasant experience. I got a standing ovation. 

On Thursday afternoon we had scheduled a meeting for the Quality Assurance Committee. We hadn't held one since last fall when the COVID-19 precautions made assembly risky and then various staff were absent due to quarantine requirements. A week earlier, I sent a reminder email to committee members asking them to save the date. Then, while my agency was handling the survey process, I spent three days writing a report summarizing all the data collected in 2020 plus a summary of the first quarter of 2021. 

I was the only one who showed up.  Oh, well. I did my part. 

So I had a high and a low to mark the beginning of my last month in the business. About right, I think.

Now, on to explaining the title of this post. It's a lyric from a Grateful Dead song, "Cumberland Blues". The "Little Ben clock" is a mechanical clock some readers may not have experienced. Generally fairly accurate, these clocks are powered by an internal spring that requires manual winding regularly with some sort of key or crank.

As I get closer to Retirement Day, my friends are asking me how close I am, and when I say "a month", for instance, I'm often told something along the lines of, "Congratulations! What an achievement!"

But, you know, it doesn't feel like an "achievement". Writing that last QA report was "an achievement". Getting through that survey without any deficiencies cited was "an achievement". Looking at 27 days before retirement feels more like I'm a Little Ben clock that hasn't been wound lately, as I feel the pace of my workday slow down more and more. In about a month, my career clock will tick one last time. That's not an achievement, that's just another expression of entropy. 

Time Flies

 Today, President Biden will announce the withdrawal of US and NATO troops from Afghanistan by September 11, 2021, or 6,708 days since President George W. Bush declared "Mission Accomplished". 

It's Been a While

Currently writing from Taos, New Mexico. I like to visit here a couple of times a year, but with the pandemic road trips have been pointless - why travel to where there's nothing open? But having full vaccination and New Mexico hitting a positivity rate of 1% or less (are you listening, Colorado?) it just seemed like the right time to hit the road. 

I've already had the best huevos rancheros at Michaels, moving on to rainbow trout tonight at Martyrs. Tomorrow will probably involve a short drive up to Taos Mountain ski place, formerly the home of the late and lamented Taos Mountain Music Festival.  Or maybe a visit to Angel Fire.

Some parts of my pre-virus life are returning while I'm facing the end of signified chunks of it. Weird how it seems symmetry prevails.

And the Countdown Begins ...

 In 5 weeks, 36 days, my nursing career will come to an end. My retirement date is May 14, 2021, 40 years to the month after graduation from nursing school. All told, I've been in health care 52 years in once capacity or another. On balance, it's been a pretty fine ride.

But it's strange to experience the feelings as the end approaches. A lot of my identity is wrapped up in being an RN. I'm not sure how the end of that will affect my self image. Looks like I'll know the answer to that soon, though. 😀 

So I've decided to revive this blog. I have some goals for my retirement: long road trips, getting re-acquainted with my guitars, and writing 350 words a day. The writing will start here, with shares to social media as appropriate. The first topics will, naturally, be intertwined with my progress toward May 14 and the days that follow. I'll try to describe the ways I see the processes involved, like applying for Social Security and what it's like to have Medicare. But maybe more importantly, I want to use this blog to examine my feelings about it all. 

So, stay tuned, if you've a mind to. I'm doing this for the most purely selfish reasons, but that doesn't mean it won't offer some value to someone else. At the least, I'll try to be amusing.